· “A new world, material without being real, where poor ghosts, breathing dreams like air, drifted fortuitously about...like that ashen, fantastic figure gliding toward him through the amorphous trees.” (161) The way in which Fitzgerald uses syntax influences his style and the purpose of this story from beginning to end in this novel. This is the last thought Gatsby has before he is shot and killed by Mr. Wilson. When he says “a new world, material without being real” he means that he has everything a man could wish for materially, but what he lacks is friendship and true relationships in his life, therefore, his world is not real, only fake. All of the commas he uses help build suspense and mystery until he sees a figure “gliding” towards him which eventually turns out to be his murderer.
· “The touch of a cluster of leaves revolved it slowly, tracing, like the leg of transit, a thin red circle in the water.” (162) Everything is calm after the murder occurs. The only hint that something terrible has happened is in the last part of the sentence when he says “a thin red circle in the water”. Fitzgerald’s attention to detail truly brings the story to life just by mentioning the smaller things. It is the smaller things that make a large difference in this novel.
· “Then I turned back to Gatsby—and was startled at his expression. He looked—and this is said in all contempt for the babbled slander of his garden—as if he had “killed a man.”” (134) The second two dashes used in this passage prove that despite what everyone else has said about Gatsby killing a man, Nick can now see it for himself just because of the look in his eyes. The pauses throughout this sentence give it a deeper meaning and make it appear more valid because of the use of syntax.
For this response I would have liked to read about how each device creates that specific tone. For example, when you said the commas create suspense, I was not convinced. I do believe that that scene was suspenseful, but for someone who has not read the book, they would need a further analysis of Fitzgerald’s syntax. Perhaps you could say that since commas are used for a brief pause and since there was so many, the author wanted the reader to feel the hesitation in Gatsby's voice, which foreshadows an unfortunate event. Also, I liked the concrete detail you chose for your second analysis. However, your interpretation of the quote could have been more thorough. I didn't necessarily feel that Fitzgerald was trying to point out the little things, but that he was creating a sentence that left the most meaningful portion at the end which in turn points out the importance or the significance of the "thin red circle".
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